Dad Jokes

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OldGarandDad said:
My grandfather was famous for this joke:

If I wear my New Jersey, what will Delaware?
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That was a song that used a whole buncha state names for its raison d'être. I remember it from my early GI days, so it musta been about 1959. Damn' song was coming out of the faucets back then.

"Why did Cali phonia?" "She called to say Hawaii."

"What did Missus sip, between her purty lips?" "She sipped a Minne soda."

"Where has Oregon?" "I dunno, but Alaska" "She went to pay her Texas"

That's all that is stuck in my diseased mind. But there is more, I know.

OH YEAH. My home state. "How did Flora die? She died in Missouri!"
 
Unca Walt said:
That was a song that used a whole buncha state names for its raison d'être. I remember it from my early GI days, so it musta been about 1959. Damn' song was coming out of the faucets back then.

"Why did Cali phonia?" "She called to say Hawaii."

"What did Missus sip, between her purty lips?" "She sipped a Minne soda."

"Where has Oregon?" "I dunno, but Alaska" "She went to pay her Texas"

That's all that is stuck in my diseased mind. But there is more, I know.

OH YEAH. My home state. "How did Flora die? She died in Missouri!"
Click to expand...
They had faucets back then!?

😜
 
Unca Walt said:
That was a song that used a whole buncha state names for its raison d'être. I remember it from my early GI days, so it musta been about 1959. Damn' song was coming out of the faucets back then.

"Why did Cali phonia?" "She called to say Hawaii."

"What did Missus sip, between her purty lips?" "She sipped a Minne soda."

"Where has Oregon?" "I dunno, but Alaska" "She went to pay her Texas"

That's all that is stuck in my diseased mind. But there is more, I know.

OH YEAH. My home state. "How did Flora die? She died in Missouri!"
Click to expand...
The 1959 song "Delaware" sung by Perry Como is what you are thinking about.
 
Unca Walt said:
That's all that is stuck in my diseased mind. But there is more, I know.

OH YEAH. My home state. "How did Flora die? She died in Missouri!"
Click to expand...
In music circles that's called an 'ear worm'....
 
Unca Walt said:
That was a song
Click to expand...
This is the one ya want:

What Did Delaware, Boys?

Oh, what did Delaware, boys? Oh, what did Delaware?
Oh, what did Delaware, boys? Oh, what did Delaware?
Oh, what did Delaware, boys? Oh, what did Delaware?
I ask you now as a personal friend, what did Delaware?

She wore her New Jersey, boys. She wore her New Jersey.
She wore her New Jersey, boys. She wore her New Jersey.
She wore her New Jersey, boys. She wore her New Jersey.
I tell you now as a personal friend, she wore her New Jersey.

Other verse pairs include:

Oh, what does Iowa? She weighs a Washington.
Oh, what does Idaho? She hoes her Maryland.
Oh, what does Tennessee? She sees what Arkansas.
Oh, where has Oregon? She's gone to Oklahoma.
Oh, what did Massa-chew? She chewed her Connecti-cud.
Oh, how did Flori-die? She died in Missouri.

Here's a second version of the song, which appears to go to a
different tune than the song above.

What did Delaware, boys?
What did Delaware?
What did Delaware, boys?
What did Delaware?
She wore a brand New Jersey,
She wore a brand New Jersey,
She wore a brand New Jersey,
That's what she did wear.

Why did Cali-phone ya,
Why did Cali-phone?
Why did Cali-phone ya,
Was she all alone?
She phoned to say "Hawaii"
She phoned to say ("How-ah-yee")
She phoned to say "Hawaii"
That's why she did phone.

Where has Oregon, boys,
Where has Oregon?
If you want Alaska,
(I'll-ask-a) where she's gone.
She went to pay her Texas
She went to pay her Texas
She went to pay her Texas,
That's where she has gone.

What did Mississip, boys,
What did Mississip?
What did Mississip, boys,
Through her pretty lips?
She sipped a Minna-soda,
She sipped a Minna-soda,
She sipped a Minna-soda,
That's what she did sip.

How did Wiscon-sin, boys?
She stole a New-brass-key,
Too bad that Arkan-saw, boys,
And so did Tenna-see.
It made poor Flori-die, boys,
It made poor Flori-die, you see,
She died in Missouri, boys,
She died in Missouri!
 
Avalon said:
This made me laugh. When my girls were young they had a big basket of Barbie dolls. I used to joke we had one Ken doll in the basket and he made them multiply.
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Long story made very short

My niece moved and left her Barbies behind. Parents sold house. I shipped them to her. 70 lbs. Hundreds of Barbies and 3 Ken's. Every Ken had a big smile on their face.
 
Oh lord!! I am jealous. Wish I'da done dat. FUNNY.
 
Unca Walt said:
Oh lord!! I am jealous. Wish I'da done dat. FUNNY.
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I shipped them as luggage on a flight I was taking. I had a TSA lock that shows when someone opens it. Sure enough the lock indicator showed it was opened. Inside the case was a note from the TSA. I can imagine they had fun when they saw what was inside.
 
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